Dreams For Sale

Wynter

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:47:06 GMT

Oh crap, the first snow! I guess that means I don't get to finish my autumn poem.... Or does it? Anyway, I've already finished it, just haven't posted it.

But, I love the first snow. It has a magic of its own. The first time it sticks, settles down like a carpet of silence.
It has a way of turning even the oldest human beings into little kids again.
There is that frosty anticipation,
the promise of Christmas and bright packages,
sparkling lights
and pine scenting everything,
Sipping hot chocolate
and the comforting warmth of loved ones
that only comes with frozen noses
and the sudden opacity of breath...

It becomes a cocoon of sorts,
settling in against a blanket of white
wrapping ourselves away in warmth and love
like those chintzy packages under the tree.
We wait,
To be unwrapped by the spring
revealing something new,
something resplendent and fresh.
For now begins the time of reflection,
of inner learning
of outward loving
soft nesting
and warm hearts.

The first snow,
The first dusting
of a magical land.
Be warm my friends,
Be loved!

MWA!!!!

~The Dreamer

Cider Rush (expanded)

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:57:37 GMT

In the press of things,

Crisp reminiscence
Of pumpkins and cool, scented air
Of turtlenecks
and newly knitted scarves
tokens of time and tenderness
and impending frosts

Jeweled crush
And rivulets of nectar
A Potion of season and time,
Aged apothecary
Mottled jugs
with rustic seals
Nature, natural
Permeates everything
Emblazoned to take notice
Of her
In her jeweled gown

Ruby lips and fire burned halo
sweeping out of the party
To dress for the next

The rush
Of Earth and Fire
Is done,
Over and gone...

Autumn

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:40:45 GMT

Amber hues drip
In soft terminal falls
As the world slides into hush
the reality of color
the brilliance of fate
succumbing to the cold ambivalence
of white

I would wish
to be like them,
to fill the world
with radiance before I die
to leave in a spark and crackle
of fire
before the cold takes me

where has all time
run out to?
what binds us
is falling to our feet in papery waves
the sweet smell of earth, birth and decay
playing games with our noses
taking in air we hate to love
the overabundant freshness
is anticipatory,
but ignored

The great crush
of season on the Earth
begets death
then life
then death again
forever frozen in cycle
forever crystallizing life

I am happy world!
how long before I have to deny that?
I'd rather not know.
I'd rather be like the seasons,
loving like fire and color
then drifting softly
into the quiet release
of white
a blanket
of nothing

I dance in amber hues
I dance in sun
in earth
in fire

I live in Autumn
I love in fall
I live forever
I will never feel the frost...

I'm Back! sorta....

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 23:25:06 GMT

Well.... I figured it was time to update this thing again. I guess the last time I posted was somewhere around 26 weeks ago!! Oops! I don't know. I guess I just don't have much to say on here anymore. Not many people read this thing, but I've always said that I write it for myself. I do. I always have. I guess that I haven't had the need to write in here for a while. I must say I miss it, though. Just the act of fitting words together, forming a thought with letters and imagination, is very freeing. For the most part I write with pen and paper, but I have always appreciated this journal as a nice change of medium. Sometimes the paper rips and the ink runs dry and the clacking of fingertips on a keyboard becomes very inspirational. Perhaps I will attempt a poetic thought or 2 in here before I am finished.

Much has happened in my life since my last posting. It's weird to have a definitive time passage to apply. All of this has happened in only 26 weeks. I feel more together and yet still very unsure. I feel more grounded, more like a part of this world, but my relationship with everything outside of reality is even more invigorating. I have learned some things about myself that I am very proud of. I have made amazing new friends and one very special one. He makes me scared as hell of what is to come... and I think he gives me the strength to overcome that too. We'll see if he or my insecurities win out.

I just finished a show. It taught me a lot. It gave me even more. ^_~ I didn't realize how much I truly missed acting until I began again. It's like reconnecting with an old friend. I think actors are truly lucky people. More than most, they really understand the illusion that is reality. They are given the talent, the gift, to see past reality, to shape it to what they want to see, what they want others to see. They shape themselves, mold themselves into whomever they want to be. Reality doesn't control them, they control reality. They see that sometimes it is healthier to live outside the word, to let your soul breathe and change paces. It is a slippery precipice to be on, but the view is priceless. It can make you mad, but it can also make you immortal! I think I hope to be like that someday. I'm not saying I want that for a career. The word 'career' sometimes has a nasty way of ruining the greatest fun in a person's life. However, I don't think I will ever stop acting and would very much love to take it to another level. Maybe even become comfortable with calling myself an actress. (Oh and I'm working on the singing stage-fright too. It's about time. I want to share my voice and I want to conquer this fear.)

My life is plugging along. Slowly, but surely. The words are always there. For good or for bad.

And, hey! I have a Brewers hat now! Woot!

(Excerpt from "The Damsel and the Detective"... maybe... that may change.)

She dabbed impassively
At the rubies on her lips,
Letting her gown
Wrinkle in the chair.
She sighed,
Grabbing whispers from the smokey air
And fixed a perfect strand of hair.
Perceptions touched her lightly
Giving her a crystal grace
And when she moved,
Her presence framed the totality of the room...

Hopefully more updates on the way! Watch "Torchwood" if you can find it! It's a phenomenal show! (BBC Three)

Love always,
The Dreamer

Holland Sanguis

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 06:05:30 GMT

New pet in profile! Go play!

<3

*OMG! HE HAS SONAR!*

JUST SAY CRISPY!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:29:41 GMT

http://www.devilducky.com/media/54406/

'Nuff said! Just clicky!!!

Served!

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:50:09 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
dime_dreams goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Sekhmet: Lady of Flame.
ananda_daydream tricks you! You get a clothespin.
kamihane tricks you! You get a used tissue.
kaoticangel tricks you! You get a wad of paper.
lenstars gives you 15 mottled green tropical-flavoured gummy bats.
sarahspock gives you 2 brown orange-flavoured gummy bats.
singing_diva1 tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
dime_dreams ends up with 12 pieces of candy, a clothespin, a used tissue, and a wad of paper.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

eBay Rage?

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:18:09 GMT

I think I have eBay rage....

I bid on this item. Yay! Britty bids! Then I waited for the appointed time when the auction would end. Literally 3 seconds before the auction was up someone outbid me!! I was so pissed! That slimey little bastard was just WAITING for the time to tick down so that he could outbid me! He KNEW that I wouldn't have time to enter a higher bid!!! GRRRRR!!! The nerve! He thinks he so great because he's an experienced eBay thief, errr... bidder... I know I shouldn't take it personally, but that seems so SNEAKY!! I'm still a little pissed! That just really burns my biscuits!! Ya know?!?! I was very disillusioned with the whole thing, but then I read about that auto-bidding thing! It's GREAT! HA!! Take that you sneaky RATS!!

*sigh* I lead a very pathetic life.... (BUT I'M WINNING MY REMAINING BIDS!!! HA!!!)

Is that content? I just painted my nails!! Does that count??? sorry... ^_~

UPDATE: LOST ANOTHER ONE!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! BASTARD JUST WAITED FOR ME TO LEAVE THE ROOOOM!!! ACCCK!!!

MEME!

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:11:06 GMT

Because it is 1 o'clock in the morning, i just found this on a friend's lj and i have nothing better to do! enjoy! i thought this was interesting!

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

× I have broken someone's bones.	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	✓ I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
✓ I have a hidden talent.	✓ I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
× I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	× I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	✓ I've called the cops on a friend before.	✓ I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	✓ I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	✓ I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends.	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
✓ I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	✓ Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	× I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	✓ I have jumped off a bridge.	✓ I love sea turtles.
✓ I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
✓ I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I fall for the worst people. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)	✓ I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in.	✓ I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie.
✓ I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	✓ I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
✓ I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	✓ If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	✓ I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	✓ I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	✓ I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
✓ I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	✓ I have hit someone with a dead fish. (omg! Wards! Wards!)
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
✓ Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. (I did.)	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
✓ I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	✓ I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	✓ Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	× I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

I PROMISE, more content later!

<3

tumbleweeds and tissues

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 07:01:30 GMT

hmmm.... me thinks i need to post in here again. the barren winds of ignored livejournals are blowing tumbleweeds through the wasteland of my words..... annnnnd i really need sleep too it seems!!! plus i have a cold. ok! sleep now, post later! i will be back, i promise! and hopefully with a new layout, and new icons! awwww maaaaaan! i have to catch up on all of those toooooo!!! MAAAAAAN! *sigh* i guess i have much work to do in order to reestablish this lj......

SLEEP!

lost

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 02:59:11 GMT

so much has happened since the last time i posted. i feel so detached. i hope that i do return to this and open my heart again. it's hard, it's such a heavy heart now.

fredonia: a graduation and a magical (all be it, interesting) night

home: this is the hardest part. words cannot express how much i miss the ones who are so far away from me! i feel like i am grasping, slipping, failing. i'm somewhere i hate. i'm suffocated and i feel like i can't get out... of my job, of my life, of my current path. i miss where i was and i can never go back there.... it's terrifying...

so... i come back here after all this time and post an utterly depressing entry! great! *sigh* lol! anyway, i hope to fill in more. perhaps, only for myself. maybe i won't come back and write more. i find i have so little time anymore. regardless, i felt this necessary for my own sanity. i am not gone. i have not abandoned everything. although, there are times that i feel i have been abandoned, by life itself. i feel as though everything i ever held as an undeniable truth has been proven false. i'm trying to rebuild what i know. i miss so many things, so many people. i feel so misunderstood, so foreign in my world right now. i need to get back to me. i haven't been myself since i left fredonia, my home. where have i gone?

the dreamer needs to dream again.

Searching...

Doctor My Eyes Have Seen The Years

Thu, 04 May 2006 18:34:42 GMT

today is a fantastic day in all respects! yes, i am still freaking out about 20 different things, but today, none of that matters. I have a ton of drive and much more optimism than i started the week with. i'm taking everything in stride. i'm focusing on the good things, and when you do that, more good things happen! sure, i have a lot to do (i'm sitting in the computer lab right now getting 2 papers done so i can start on the third... all 3 being due tomorrow), but there is a time for everything right? i know i'll get it done, even if i have to stay up all night! i'm ok with that, then i get to relax and enjoy the company of important people that i am going to miss terribly! this morning, it was nice waking up to kind words. Those little, unexpected kindnesses are always the best. someone complimented me on my shirt today. i feel accomplished because i was proud of the presentation i gave. i had a wonderful talk about life with someone that i respect and trust to be a wise and experienced person. i appreciated that talk, i made me feel more secure and more in control over my own life. we are all connected in ways that may be difficult to comprehend at first. people that touch our lives and leave are never truly gone, because we always take a part of them with us wherever we go, whatever we do. the same is true for them. we are two parts. one half of us is always growing, being shaped, being improved and reinvented by the people and the world around us. the other half already knows everything there is to know and everytime we learn something new or express what we know we tap into that part of ourselves. it is almost like lighting up buttons on a console. we light another light each time we learn something new. Herodotus once said, "call no man happy until he is dead." This is by no means a depressing statement. all he is saying is that, we cannot truly measure the worth and weight of our lives until our lives are over! all we can do is to try to fill our lives with as many experiences as possible so that when we are taken from this earth we can say that we have had a satisfying life, a happy life. well now that i have ranted for far too long, i think i better end this and get back to work so that i can get enough done where i won't feel bad if i go out for a bit tonight.

OOO! and it is beautiful out and my legs are soooo smoooooth cuz i just shaved them last night! lol! ^_~

"Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
Through the slow parade of tears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding"
~Jackson Browne "Doctor My Eyes"

WARNING: Look out for more sappy posts about graduation in the next couple of weeks. I'm taking it hard, so these will be weepy and disgusting! Disclaimer! lol! ^_~

Kiss Me Like They Do In The Movies

Mon, 01 May 2006 16:40:23 GMT

Phwoar Teeny Emos <3

check...

h'ooooh boy...

(Ok, I just took a muscle relaxant (Aleve) a little while ago for *WARNING GIRLY STUFF* cramps and I'm not really used to then... so.... well, it hit me and i can't really feel anything from my waste down! My legs are spaghetti! and... I'm feeling very... good... I think... or numb... yes? I don't know... I can't really feel the tips of my fingers.... I know this is doing its job and all (very well), but I'm starting to wonder if I would prefer the pain to... not feeling anything at all. I am... very relaxed... I don't think I like this. I'm not a big drug person. I take tylenol and only if I have to, but it rarely works on those really bad cramps. so i thought i would try a muscle relaxant... i hope it wears off soon.... i am such a loser...)

GUILT COMPLEX!

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 15:08:11 GMT

Sometimes I wonder, why? Why me? Of all the little ticks I could have, OCD, ADD, I get the most annoying one in the world! I get the damn Guilt Complex with a side of sarcasm!

I mean, why couldn't I get a good quirk like... my right arm goes limp whenever a bell rings or... the inability to say the word "thesaurus"? oh wait... anyway... this damn Guilt Complex has plagued me more than you know! I stepped on a bee in the grass once, it was an accident and anyway, it probably would have stung the kids in my camp, but afterward I literally wanted to cry, I felt so bad! I couldn't help thinking, 'that bee had a family!!' LOL! I know it's crazy, but I am not kidding!

Ok, this is something that just makes it exponentially worse! Those of you who know me know that I am a VERY sarcastic person! It's how I live my life! I invite people to make fun of me all they want and I do the same to them. Nobody means any of it. I figure, if you can't take a joke then you are a very sad person and I feel sorry for you because life will be so much harder for you. Also, you are not a person that I would EVER get along with! I would probably piss you off SO much and vice versa! Anyway, the point of this is that I make fun of people that I love all the time (and vice versa). And because of the nature of these actions, someone is bound to hurt someone else's feelings once in a great while! It happens, whatever, both parties know it was not meant and you get over it! It's hard to hurt my feelings. However, if I hurt someone else's feelings, I will literally feel bad for weeks!! TERRRIBLE! I feel like I just killed my best friend's puppy and wrecked her moped in the process (i was borrowing it because there was a sale on kiwi fruit down at the local market and they make great hats if you peel them juuust right so.... uh...).

ANyway, it is a terrible curse. It gets worse when I PMS (no joke, then I'll actually CRY, people!) and I hate feeling so guilty for such stupid stuff! *sigh* What a freaking enigma!? I'll make fun of you mercilessly, but, wonder of wonders, if i should hurt your feelings, I'll feel like the WORST person in the world!!

DISCLAIMER!! no one gets to use this against me! I'll know if you're lying to me.... but then if you really aren't lying and i played it off like you were, then i'll feel even worse and then.... bloody nora...

OK! On a completely different, and much more fun note, here is a site that I think everyone can benefit from and enjoy!! Every needed to get off the phone with someone, but lacked an excuse?? Well don't you fret kiddies! Now you will never be with out... and OUT! Here are some great lines for you to use when you're on the phone with telemarketers, your boss or just a really annoying person! Never again will you be caught without something to say! Well folks, gotta go!! The baby's crying!! ^_~ ENJOY!!

http://www.sorrygottago.com/

DO OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 16:45:07 GMT

*sigh* Skipping a class to do work seems so sacrilegious somehow…

Less than 3 weeks left, and folks, Britty has left the building….

…for the roof cuz she’s freaking the HELL out! I have so much to do and it is all catching up to me right now. Hmmm, I guess, on the bright side, this doesn’t leave me much time to worry about what I’m doing after college or the other crap that’s spiraling in to doom me…. Ugh! ;___; no time no time no time….

The Dreamer is FREAKING OUT!

What is the bane of a college student's existence?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 22:16:20 GMT

FRESHMEN!!!!!

HOOOKAY! Seriously! Perhaps I just never noticed it, I can admit to that, but I really do not believe that we were EVER that bad when we were freshmen!! I know I was never that rude!! And if there was an amount of rudeness, it was minimal at best! I mean, I was in my Bio 101 class today (let me just say that it truly SUCKS to be one of the only seniors in a LECTURE HALL FULL OF FRESHMEN!! They were smart to get this out of the way! I was an idiot, I'm doing it now, and I have to deal with them!). let's just say, you kids have some BALLS to talk OVER your professor! no one wants to hear about your experiences at the tanning bed downtown, least of all our professor! suck it up for one hour and take the damn notes!! ok, now, 20 MINUTES BEFORE the end of class, the same little freshmen (DISCLAIMER: no, I am NOT 100% sure they were all freshmen, so yes these are gross over generalizations and this is also why i have FINALLY put something under a cut!)begin packing up and making as much noise as humanly possible! I was trying to pay attention and get the last bit of notes and I'm not even going to mention how RUDE that is to the Prof! come one people! is your time so DAMN important that you need to be that rude?!? you're not going to be late for your next class or anything, and hey! if you payed attention, you may actually get a college education worth your money!!! ok, i need to interject on myself for a bit!

Cutting back for something way more important! I was just coerced onto a motorcycle and I did not die! I made it back in one piece! oh wonder of wonders, this was NOT and elaborate plan to bump me off! lol!

All kidding aside, it was pretty wonderful! It's a stunning day out! Not too hot, not too cold and crystal clear! We went down to the lake. It was incredible! Everything was sparkling! The wind in my... helmet.. OK! that one didn't work so well! lol! hey! it was a great workout for my butt too! ugh, and as much as I hate to admit it... it was a major turn-on! Especially with the choice of driver! UGH! i have no will power... But come on! Definitely extenuating circumstances! stunning scenery, beautiful day... Whatever my feelings about his personality or life habits... he's hot and this was fun! ^_~

plus, i have the sexy helmet-hair-flip down pat!! ^_~

ok, back to de ranty cut!

SO, i plod along, through my day, already annoyed! I get to my Western Civ class (101 class number 2!! UGH why did i have to torture myself like this?!?!) I get into class and my Prof was already talking (yeah, i was a little late), but you'd never know it! there was this group of girls that were, again, talking over him. i quietly took out my notebook and a pen and waited for them to shut up! no such luck, and i was thinking, this is getting ridiculous! THEN, this girl (lady, she is a bit older, late 20s) yelled, 'Hey! Girls, just shut up, ok?!' I could have applauded and screamed, 'YOU GO GIRL!' They shut up after that and i think most of the older people in the class were very happy about that! I felt bad for my Prof though. He seemed very embarrassed and quiet for the rest of the class. it pissed me off even further that one of the girls just worked on a project for another class for the whole period. she didn't even try to hide it! ugh! seriously!! I know my class, for the most part, was never that rude!

Look! I am usually the LAST person to rant about things like this! Unless you're hurting someone else, I say, "live and let live and ignore them as much as you can until you explode and are forced to impart some serious homicidal rage on their asses!" but this is waaaay to much! it's the middle of the week! it's a freaking wednesday! please, save some of your impatient rudeness for the end of the week or right before breaks or something!!! whatever, this rant has fizzled out like a birthday sparkler at bj's! lol! the other stuff, over the cut, was more entertaining anyway! i can't rant when i'm in a great mood like i am right now! ^_~ done now!

Huh, very energizing! Better than a cup of coffee! ^_~

Good times

No Way Up, No Way Down, Three Ways Out: 1. Tales of the Lady

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:59:42 GMT

She touches, and it blackens. Her life is love, her love is dead. Kindly hand her a tissue, those tears seem to be real... but we can never really know, can we? There are flowers on her dress. I wonder if she has ever stopped to smell one, or did she just trample them all with her feet? A wayfarer, a straining heart, curse cast and caged. Poisoned blood seeks contact, approval, forgiveness. Love... She reaches out a shaky hand, cold, cracked. The tips of her tired fingers remember, and realize their mistake. He turns away from her. She sinks to her soles. She struggles to steal back the scream. Once uttered, twice heard, never forgotten. She slipped and sold her soul to shadows. No substance there to hold something so heavy. He slept a sleep that dreamed a dream and damned the dame with the hell-bound heart...

It was never meant to be like this...

{1. Turn, inward, away, from the Lacquered Lady of Love, who wears decay like a festering fashion...}

Cherubim

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 16:10:36 GMT

Find your Celestial Choir

cool! i protect artifacts and ancient people! Ain't I cute? Stolen from Crumbles! ^_~

<3

"Tango Till They're Sore"

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 16:10:51 GMT

Tom Waits: "Tango Till They're Sore"

Well ya play that Tarantella
All the hounds they start to roar
And the boys all go to hell
Then the Cubans hit the floor
And they drive along the pipeline
They tango till they're sore
They take apart their nightmares
And they leave them by the door.

Chorus:
Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past
So send me off to bed forever more.

Make sure they play my theme song
I guess daisies will have to do
Just get me to New Orleans
And paint shadows on the pews
Turn the spit on that pig
Kick the drum and let me down
Put my clarinet beneath your bed
Till I get back in town.

Chorus

Just sure she's all in calico
And the color of a doll
Wave the flag on cadillac day
And a skillet on the wall
Cut me a switch or hold you breath
Till the sun goes down
Write my name on the hood
Send me off to another town.

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past
So send me off to bed forever more....

REALLY!

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 15:23:17 GMT

GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just REALLY HATE MYSELF!!!! I mean, REALLY!!

>__<*

*grumble grumble grumble*

*sigh* But it helps to scream to an electronic journal for a bit. let off some steam, you know... better now...

EXPANSION NEEDED

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 18:48:19 GMT

few things, since i haven't updated in a while. I may or may not expand on some of these later! ^_~

*Break was good. It was pleasantly boring for the most part. Now that I'm back, I'm freaking the hell out! ^_^ (this is the manic little smile which i will call Willbur. Willbur is smiling because he is crying inside and at any moment he is going to murder that ecstatic little exclamation point next him!!! yup, that's kind of how i feel! lol) there are only 6 weeks left, i have sooo much to do and i just.... want... to.... be ... DONE!

*Went to visit MEGGGGGGGGIE over the weekend! (I think I'm going to call you Crumbles! or Crackers!) This was definitely the highlight of my break!!! I MISS YOU CRUMBLES!!! ^_~ omg! i am so jealous of her school! more later... and if Squeakers ever gets them up, PICS!

*Cute Is What We Aim For was AMAZING!! Lenny and Erik are my favorite sex toys EVER! ^_~ More later!! (awesome pic of me and Shaant, taken by Lenny! Shaant is totally stalking Lenny! lol!)

*New phone. It was awkward at first, but i think we're warming up to each other. I dropped it and scratched and I still feel sooooo sososo bad about that! I think it endeared the little phone to me cuz i wounded it. it's pretty though. still doesn't work in the house and some of its functions are foreign to me, but i'm learning.

*i have NO idea what I'm doing after graduation and it is FREAKING me out. this all...

*
*
* more bullets in case of accidental thoughts!

Lynn Street!

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 01:15:21 GMT

I just want to tell you how much I love Lynn Street! These guys are awesome! They offered to find us a place to stay if we came to Boston this weekend! How nice is that?! I mean, really! They're the ones playing and creating the music. they don't have to trouble themselves with finding a place for traveling fans to stay! If feel really honored! I feel bad that I won't get to see them, but I'm sans funds and people! and i'm going to see my meggie! but you guys should check them out! Their music is awesome and they're great guys! you can find them on myspace and i'm going to talk them up as much as i can! once again, that's Lynn Street from Boston! CHECK THEM OUT!!!!!

http://www.myspace.com/lynnstreet

The Dreamer

Spring Break: Salvation or Frustration?

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 15:51:29 GMT

ok, this is more for my own benefit because i began to realize that i have severely overbooked myself for spring break! so here is the plan! if i have more than one plan on a certain day or days i'll pick whatever came up first, assuming i remember. if not, it's all first come first serve again.

thursday (23): Jame's b-day! fredonia. out.

Friday (24): staying in Freddy for Laura (you know you love me ^_~) and because this is probably the easiest course of action for you Lenny!

Saturday (25): Concert with Lenny and Erik. Sorry Greg, we'll have to reschedule... sunday maybe?

Sunday: home, don't know when, don't know how. maybe getting together with greg.

ok... here's where things get sketchy... during the week, i'm doing stuff with friends that are home. now we get to:

Thursday (30): I'm supposed to be going to Boston... or Buffalo... or a couple of other places... I'm of the mindset that this is not going to happen (although, i really hope i do get to Boston!!! i was really trying!!), but if it does, then it screws up any other plans for that weekend. aka:

FRIDAY (31): hmmm, this is an interesting day. this is the day i'm supposed to go visit meggie with christy... i think... i have no freaking idea! all i got from her was an im with some dates in it and then her profile had this trip laid out on the 31st. she didn't respond to any of my ims and she took those plans out of her profile. i have no idea what is going on and if i go to boston, i can't go see meggie. this is very frustrating! why would you make plans without telling anyone? i'm not home very often and i make plans really early on! one would think you would ask to see if i was free or not... or even just to confirm it with me! meggie! i want to see you so bad!!! i miss you like crazy!! but what the hell is going on with her?? first she bails on plans we made 3 months in advance and then, perhaps in an effort to boost her character, she makes plans without consulting us! i'm getting very tired of working around her schedule and her out of sight out of mind attitude! anyway, enough ranting. i guess i should try to figure this out sometime soon... meggie, maybe you should do it! ^_~

Saturday: hinges

Sunday: back to freddy

~anyway, like i said, this more so i don't forget anything or anyone, and so i don't overbook myself. hopefully, things will be resolved soon, and i am sooooo SOSOSOSOSOSO looking forward to a little rest and relaxation!! 9____9

i neeeeeeed need need need to get away from the school work and drama (not too much drama, but something that has been weighing on my mind for a little bit) for a while and just figure some things out! mostly, i miss all the people i don't get to see very often!! i can't wait to see you guys! <3 <3 <3

The Dreamer wants a cure for her cold... or death!!! UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! (i couldn't even sleep last night! ;___;)

ST PATTY'S DAY!!!

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 19:54:21 GMT

LET THE MARATHON BEGIN BOYS AND GIRLS!!!! In all actuallity it started at noon, but.... maybe we won't count that! ^_~ regardless, from about 5 o-clock on... I will be testing out my Irish stamina!!!! Today is the culmination of my senior year!! (i'm sure i'll say this about 5 more times before the year is out, but TODAY is the DAY! lol!)So, have a safe and FUN St. Patty's day everyone and .....

KISS MY BLARNEY STONE!!!!!!

...Andy's going to be here.... here is my official written statement... binding contract... that i will NOT do anything stupid! WILL NOT NOT NOT!! unless it's with someone else... ^_~ *coughyouknowwhocough*

AND MY DARLING MANDY IS COMING!!!!!! OMG!!! SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!

so yeah! if you're going out, have a good time, but BE SAFE!! I love all of your guys, and, while I'm planning on getting shit-faced myself, I want to see you all tomorrow when I'm hungover and in the WORST MOOD POSSIBLE!! lol!

<3 you all!

Off goes the little Irish Dreamer, a proud Geoghegan! ^_~

"always ready to serve my country"

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 17:48:37 GMT

The frozen wind sweeps by in reckless abandon. In each gust there is more power than most of us will ever know. what drives the driven? who chose the game and have they become a pawn in it, themselves? does the wind blow, to spread ailing life through concrete streets... or just to play with my hair? One has to wonder, how this happens every year? we slip and forget the cold. we go blind just before the barren breaches the walls. how is it that every March we wonder where the spring is... when has there ever been a spring in this deceptive month? we are so quick, so gullible, tricked again when the sun shines... then hides like a fascinated child on the prowl. Our cooling hearts are broken, betrayed, hopeful still with the last glimpses of warmth. Am i the only one that dislikes spring? the labor of new life seems so cruel. the brutality is worse than the soft, icy death of winter... or the brilliant, fiery demise of fall. i plan for barbecues and impromptu football games on thawing lawns, because these are the things that have become important to me. I am the eternal child. I am the fall in brilliant colors. I am the world that never dies... that hangs on to its ultimate brilliance and blazes at the world forever. I am the snow that never falls, and the spring that never comes... I am a Dreamer.

*yawn* bored and waiting to trudge all the way over to Gregory for my senior sem class. *sigh* for all of my drive lately, i could care less about "career development"! well at least St. Patrick’s is only 2 days away! My presentation on Senioritis was a total hit! i wonder why? lol! PARTY PARTY PARTY!! WOOOO! it's so sad. class is really the LAST thing on my mind. maybe spring break will cure me slightly... either that or it will completely destroy any shred of motivation i have left! you know you're in trouble when you have to give a presentation on Senioritis and you're scrambling last minute to get it done because your were out the night before. it lends a that certain air of credibility, however! lol! ok! off to develop my career!! *triumphant exhalations!* do you think they're going to teach me how to dig in the dirt? or give me very first whip and brush? ^_~

<3

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!
(anniversary of the murder of gaius Julius Caesar!)